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Embracing my Grays

Updated: May 8

Do you remember the first time you saw a gray hair and totally freaked out? My first gray was right after I gave birth to my son 23 years ago. I like to tease him that he is the cause of my gray hair. Truth be told the timing of our grays they are genetic, the next most asked question is why why are they all located in the front? Grays like to show up where your hair is most exposed to the elements; it is absolutely natural to have most of your gray hair on top and around your face.

Can stress cause gray hair? Honestly it has not been medically proven but it really does seem like it would make sense under intense conditions, but again though we like to say it do remember it has not been proven.

In the world we live in today, we have choices and don't have to embrace our aging process to its full acceleration. We have options such as plastic surgery, Botox. treatments and coloring of your hair. I would say 95% of my clients visit to fresh their aging process. That doesn't mean that is a bad thing, some people are not ready or even care to go with the flow of their aging. In my case, my mother doesn't want to embrace her age and continues to dye beautiful colors in her hair making her very youthful and then I introduce myself and let's just say as proud of me that my mother is my looking older doesn't help.

I made the decision to embrace my grays when I became a hair stylist. The timing just happen to be while I began to show about 30-40% gray. I for most of the time had that very lush black-blue color in my hair, but because how dark it was against my white strains, I was having to color my hair every two weeks. I believe it was in this time I accumulated an allergy to hair dye on my scalp and had to endure a painful process each time. I tried to transition gracefully but when you are in hair school there is no such thing, because you do want to try every color out there. In the end I cut it all off. I was enjoying the feel of my natural hair, how healthy it felt and my natural curls flourished and were beautiful. Trying to keep my haircuts trendy and fun in this time as I waited for my hair to grow. My goal was to have hair like Yazemeenah Rossi, but can I say I am very impatient. During my rebranding that included my look as well and that was where the platinum blonde came in. It was fun and YES made me very youthful and memorable. I struggled with the damage it did to my hair, as a stylist I was lecturing my clients yet I felt like a bad example. When you go that light the integrity of your hair is gone no matter how well you take care of your hair. I only had to de-color my hair twice after every 3-4 months, but my ends were constantly braking and my curls were non-existent. I never wanted to get my hair wet because it would dry looking crusty and I knew any pool, lake or sea would kill my hair.

Photos by Tabarri Hamilton Photography

Last year during the holidays, I was missing my black hair and decided to go for it. Let's just say all the memories fled right back of the why I don't dye my hair anymore. With my near future of a slower, healthier and natural life style it was time to embrace them again but also this new phase in my life of menopause and accepting the aging process outside of my hair. I let my hair grow out about 1.5" and cut it all off. Let me say this is not easy for me, I personally don't care for short hair on me, but it may take maybe 6 months to get some good length on me. OH did I mention my hair doesn't grow fast! Sadly even as a hair dresser there is no magic pill or huge secret we are not telling you about. Again we go back to genetics and your environmental habits. Normally most people grow about 1/2" - 3/4" a month unless they are Mr. Dracu he is a 1" a month (I HATE YOU Dear). I happen to be a 1/4"-1/2" a month so yes this really sucks.

Then to make my life more difficult.... I have always cut my hair in really sharp, modern, trendy cuts as I grew my hair out. NOT this time, I have noticed that if you want long hair quick the best way to deal with that is go with the mullet, no joke. I never had one before nor have I ever cared for one. This year happens to be the year where the wolf cut is in and I cannot express my excitement when I have a client come in asking for the cut. My clients always look amazing! While it is in trend I am going for it and only hoping I can pull it off like my lovely ladies do. I still have a ways to go to be able get a trendy cut on it. If you see me these days yes I am struggling with the way my hair looks right now but this to will pass and by the time I move I should be half way to the hair like beautiful Ms. Rossi.

No one said it is easy getting there but I can tell you once you have your natural hair again the care makes up for it. Much easier to care and maintain. I was very fortunate a dear friend and colleague Photographer Tabarri Hamilton @ helped me find my spirit again when I was feeling down. We did this amazing photoshoot and it reminded me I am just barely braking out of this cocoon but I will flourish into a beautiful butterfly meant for this new phase of my life, thanks my friend! Anyone else daring for this change I want to also help remind you, it's hair and the pay off will be grand, HANG IN THERE!

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